Baby Steps

by xcannedx

IMG_6643.JPG

It’s been one month since my latest setback and life has been quite eventful. Now, with experience, I have been lucky enough to “recognize” and “accept” that a setback has occurred. I am now able to “recognize” and “accept” that there will be other setbacks in my future and that I will most likely see this place in life again.

To some that seems like a very tragic thought – and normally I would see it as such. But not this time. The fact that I know I will be in this place again sometime in the future means that NOW is the time I learn about how to work through it and how to move forward as quickly as possible in order to be able to return to being awesome Candace. What changes do I need to make NOW that will better prepare myself for future hurdles? What changes need to be made that are different from the past?

In the past my setbacks have taken years of work (and maybe a lot of ignoring of the problem) in order to come to a place that I call “safe”. But since this past episode I have managed to come forward leaps and bounds in just 4 weeks. Mind you, that’s not to say that every day is filled with glory, sparkles and cupcakes. And that’s okay… That’s not how this whole thing works.

When I’m struggling through a setback I so very easily forget when good moments happen and when baby steps are taken. So, I’ve been carrying around a little notebook where I jot down in point form what things I’ve done that day. Whether it be “Got out go bed,” or “Walked my dog to the coffee shop,” and even “Went to work today.” I need to be reminded that I am doing things and that I am able to move forward and see that I am doing just fine.

This can only come from myself. I can’t hire an assistant to follow me around reminding me how awesome I’m doing and how far I’ve come (never doubt that I wouldn’t hire such a person given I’d have the funds – if you know of anyone for cheap let me know).

So what have I accomplished? Well, first and foremost I got my hair cut. MY HAIR IS CUT. I went in for a quick trim and was as happy as a clam. I’ve also gotten back into taking the subway. There were a couple of weeks where I couldn’t easily. Luckily I’ve been able to nip that in the bud. My mornings are filled with a little less dread.

Will this last forever? Probably not – but that’s okay. I couldn’t ask for anything more of myself.

Advertisements