I Am Afraid

by xcannedx

I am afraid.

I am afraid that this is the only truth that I will ever know, that I will have to feel this way for the rest of my life.

I am afraid that I will never be able to function properly.

I am afraid that I am judged by those who do not understand.

I am afraid that I will not be able to be relied upon because I don’t know when the next attack is going to occur.

I am afraid that I will never see my full potential because I am too busy trying to take care of my panic attacks.

I am afraid I am trapped in a fishbowl where I can see out, hear everything, communicate with anyone but it’s just a little skewed and rather impenetrable.

I am afraid my panic attacks will continue to become more severe and last longer – where my coping skill will no longer work and I will be helpless once again.

I am afraid I will give up.

I am afraid I will no longer be able to be strong.

I am afraid that all the hard things I have worked for will go to waste.

I am afraid I will never understand what it is like to feel calm and content.

I am afraid I will continue to struggle and will miss out on all the lovely things that life has to offer – and has already offered.

I am afraid I am too difficult for people to want to remain close to.

I am afraid that no matter how much positive self talk I have that it will always be a struggle that I can barely manage.

I am afraid I’ll never be able to be the best me I can be.